Forgive me–am I the only person who can’t stand the new show, “The New Girl”?

I love Zooey Deschanel in everything I’ve seen her in, and I saw enough commercials for her new show before I gave up my cable that I figured I’d catch the pilot on Hulu. And it really sucked. The premise felt trite (recently jilted girl finds new home with 3 guy roommates, wacky hijinks ensue), but I’d thought it would be offbeat and funny. Zooey’s Jess is offbeat, but in the most halfhearted way I’ve ever seen–we break out some spontaneous singing, awkward public dance moves, and one of those montages where the nerdy girl doesn’t know how to smile like a human being. From what I can tell, her only hobby is watching “Dirty Dancing.” And funny? Maybe if you haven’t watched any TV or movies in the past 10-15 years and missed all the tropes of the “quirky,” “wacky,” or otherwise crazy chick. Otherwise, same old, same old, which is a sad thing to have to say about Zooey.

The roommates, for their part, consist of a gruff personal trainer who “doesn’t care” that girls like shopping, a completely bland one who I’m assuming will become the vehicle for romantic interest, and the one who routinely says things that make him have to put a dollar in the “D-Bag jar.” Men, amirite? They work out, they have the possibility of wearing a tux someday, or they want to see your boobs. The jar was funny the first time, but the episode leaned on it for at least four gags.

I wouldn’t have mentioned anything about it, but I happened across some reviews, and everyone’s calling it “charming” and “adorkable” (dear Lord), and writing things like:

“the amusing contrast between Jess’ quirkiness as a girl and her roommate’s attempts to understand her”

Whoa. Back up. Quirkiness as a girl? Her roommates are attempting to understand her, because she’s a girl?? What the flying crap is that supposed to mean? I will readily admit to my own quirk (which I hope is more three-dimensional than awkward poses and a self-written theme song), but I’m not quirky because of the double-X in the double-helix, thank you very much.

At any rate, I’m no TV reviewer, but as a lover of story and character, there’s got to be something newer-feeling than this out there.